I Have No Enemies: A Spiritual Journey with The Avett Brothers

The Avett Brothers have been in my life for 11 years now. My mom bought the CD for I and Love and You when it came out, and played it constantly for months. That was my introduction. I loved the sound but at a certain point I was annoyed by how much I was hearing it. I had begun to memorize songs like ‘Head Full Of Doubt/Road Full Of Promise’ and ‘The Perfect Space’. I also wouldn’t admit how much I had grown to like them at the time.

While I was in my junior year of high school, I fell prey to the sounds of Mumford and Sons and other various folk revival groups and artists. Later on in the semester while I was assisting one of my teachers who still remains a close friend to this day. He was playing some music from Pandora. I liked the soft guitar and calm energy this music had. Especially this particular song. The lyrics of that song jumped out at me:

“I wonder which brother is better
Which one our parents love the most
I sure did get in lots of trouble
They seemed to let the other go”

I asked who it was and he answered ‘The Avett Brothers.’

“Oh shit. My mom loves them.”

Another year went by. In the summer of 2019, I was working as a dishwasher at Old Chicago. During a shift, I had a podcast on in the background. The interview subject just happened to be The Avett Brothers. I listened to the full thing the next day and watched the documentary about themselves that they were promoting, which is called “May It Last”. This documentary chronicles the production of their 2016 album, True Sadness. This album in particular has a lot of subtext about about ignoring the status quo and the the mystery of the human condition as a whole. Within the documentary, I recognized many of the songs from I & Love & You. Falling further down this rabbit hole, I put them on my Spotify and listened to them for most of that summer.

Especially ‘No Hard Feelings’. I also watched that clip from the documentary many times. I could not get enough of that song. The song itself is perfectly produced, with Seth Avett leading the vocals, and Scott harmonizing. A story about a man seeking enlightenment and redemption, and the song follows that path in the way it is arranged. With the organ and banjo strums in the background, and the light drumming — in many ways, I consider it one of their best songs. As 2019 became 2020, I found myself more immersed in them. They released a new album, and I knew wanting to see them was inevitable. My Mom and I got tickets for their show at Red Rocks and we’re so excited to go. It was going to be my first time at Red Rocks.

Then the pandemic hit.

Everything was cancelled. Goddamn it. Now what? Watch the documentary again? Yeah. Many times. Listen to their music? Yeah, I now own four of their albums on vinyl. Still need three more. At this point, I was ready to call them my favorite band. Damn it, they basically were. Is this a safe place? I had a man crush on Scott Avett. There, I said it. Who doesn’t?

As 2020 continued on, I created a personal playlist of them, I put all my favorite songs by them in one place and I continued to add to it as I have discovered new music by them. I also began to realize how deep their music is, and how some of their lyrics are centered around personal trauma. And how easy it was for them to take that sadness and grief and put it into words and add a soft banjo or acoustic melody behind it. I realized this because 2020 in itself was traumatic for me. It was for many people. I’ve mentioned this before but it’s hard to mention anything without 2020 being mentioned. In some ways it was a roadblock for me to get to here and now.

One of the songs that really represented some of my feelings around 2020 was ‘No Hard Feelings’. A song on their 2016 album “True Sadness” led by Seth Avett, the younger of the two Avett Brothers. In the beginning of 2021, I was at a major crossroads. Still carrying emotional baggage from the previous year. I was trying to figure out how to settle into this new world. Trauma and anxiety had turned my head into a war zone. I would do anything it took to be free of it. This is something the Avett Brothers sing about from time to time in their music, and in that sense I related even more. At the time that I first heard the song, I saw it as a man accepting that his time on Earth was done and that he was asking himself and his God — “Was it worth it?’.

It may have been wrong at the time. Because now I see it as “Why wait until the end to accept the fact that you will die without sin? Be a better person now”. After I had the realization, I fell in love with the song even more. I tried to vocalize this, but I didn’t know how. In some ways, I still can’t.

In early 2021, Red Rocks had announced they will be open for the summer season as the COVID vaccination rates had spiked, and that the world began to adapt to everything that has changed recently. Red Rocks’ plan is to build up to 100% capacity over the course of May and June. The Avett Brothers were holding out, however, for one reason: they won’t play these shows unless they get a packed house. Red Rocks had confirmed 100% capacity by July. The Avett Brothers went ahead and confirmed their appearance.

The night came and the band played an amazing set. Scott and Seth Avett’s energy brought so much to the show. At the end of the night, the band came out for an encore and did ‘Murder in the City’ and ‘No Hard Feelings’. I was a bit in disbelief as No Hard Feelings began, because I was not expecting them to perform that song live. It seemed too personal to Seth. I didn’t think he had it in mind to be heard this way. I was wrong, because the audience practically screamed as the song began. It was personal for everyone else there, including myself. As the song reached the end, I found myself in tears. What I thought was a beautiful song on the album was even prettier live.

I found myself thinking about how far away 2019 seemed to me, and yet how close it felt. I could almost feel the summer air of that year. I could see the nights that I spent with two of my closest friends at the time, who are still like that to me. I could almost smell the dish pit at that Old Chicago. If anything, this song was the closest I was gonna come to time traveling. At least, that is how I saw it. Even though it was a quick drive by, I felt like I relived that year. The people, the sunsets, the movies, and especially the music. All because of this impeccably performed song, written by a folk duo from North Carolina.

That’s the power of music. That’s the power of live performance.

“For life and its loveliness
And all of its ugliness
Good as it’s been to me
I have no enemies.”

-”No Hard Feelings”, The Avett Brothers